“Learning from Mistakes” is a phrase used by lots of parents.
It comes in different shades –
PROGRESSIVE – I give my child the freedom to explore and learn from mistakes.
RETRO – I don’t want my child to go through my experiences of fear of mistakes as a child.
EXPERIENTIAL – My child should experience the consequences and learn from the mistakes.
ARMOR – I provide a safe environment for my child to make mistakes and learn from the same.
FLIPPANT – Everybody makes mistakes. It is normal.
FIERY – I have to punish Mistakes to make my child learn.
JITTERY – OMG! How do I stop my child making mistakes!
Whatever the shade is, the significant factor is – ” Are mistakes a regular pattern?
Let us analyze:
What is a mistake? When you miss what is to be done or taken, it becomes a Mistake. For example,
1.The child does not complete its class work . The child misses what is to be done – that is Classwork.
2. The child picks up a fight while playing with other children – the child misses to play.
3. The child lies – The child misses to tell the truth.
Parents have 2 choices.
React or Respond
React (Focus on MISS)-
shout at the child for what it has done!!!!!
Respond (Focus on TAKE)
Talk about the situation and what the child has to do.
Examples:
1. The classwork is incomplete. What can you do to complete your classwork in school?
2. Playtime is disturbed. What did you want to get by fighting? What can you do to make playtime fun?
3. What I hear is different. What do you want to get by telling this? What can you do to tell what happened exactly?
We have the power to choose - React or Respond.
As parents we have to help the child correct its mistake. We can choose our words wisely. we can say –
“Mistakes happen. What can you do to do it right the next time?”
Mahalaxmi
Neha Kandwal
svidya.m70